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January 12, 2010

BIGGLES:    (Day 1)

When Deb said “BAY TO BREAKERS”, I swear I heard “BAGELS FOR BREAKFAST”… I said “YES”.  When I found out that exertion (and perspiration) was involved—I didn’t want to do it

any more.

I quit.



You CAN’T QUIT BIGGLES!  Not after all the publicity.  ‘Good Morning America’ is sending a commuter jet and Letterman called twice.  You are not ALLOWED to quit!!!



BIGGLES: (Day 2)

After the New Year’s Parties are over and the Christmas fudge is long gone, I guess that I am ready to begin my exercise program….I want to know–how many calories will I burn by–jumping to conclusions?  Also, I am curious about SKIPPING MEALS.  The experts say that you should NOT be skipping any meals.  I thought SKIPPING was a good exercise!  I am confused.  I guess I am ready to go to the gym.  I like those young people who work there, and sometimes I see Seth there too.  He manages the main club, Anderson Athletic Club.  I like Seth!  He is pretty nice to clowns.  He has never even tried to make my nose squeek.  In case you are wondering, clowns usually hate that.  We are sensitive to people making fun of our looks.  That is why clowns wear baggy clothes.  We wear a big painted-on smile to hide the pain!  BWAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!    (sniff)                 (sniff)                  (whimper)


Biggles, you are scaring the nice people.  Knock it off!

BIGGLES:    (sniff)        (HHHONNNKKK)              ‘dat wuz by dose’

BIGGLES: (Day 3)

I am soooooo sorry that I have been missing my scheduled work-outs with dEb.  She is irritated because she is showing up daily and then she finds out that she is there working out by herself.  Actually, this time I have a good reason.  I was in the middle of a transaction.  As a Realtor, dEb appreciates the importance of tact, diplomacy and patience when an offer is on the table!  She was very understanding.  In the end, we had a meeting of the minds and the coolest head won out.  I agreed to upgrade my order to the biggie fries and the large soda.


Biggles is supposed to be watching his  D  I  E  T  !  ! He needs to exercise.  He has a fat neck!  He is very vain about it, too.  You’ve seen him, always wearing that neck ruffle.  Well Biggles, you may have fooled British Parliament, but you don’t fool me.

BIGGLES: (Day 4)

One of the lightbulbs in my room blew out.  I take a dim view of that.


That is a typical BIGGLES statement.  It doesn’t make any sense to anyone but HIM!  That is my problem!

Biggles just hangs around, doesn’t contribute to the conversation and leaves food trash and debris everywhere he goes.

I will give you a good example of HOW Biggles drives people crazy.  Remember the movie, starring Tom Hanks–called “PHILADELPHIA”?  The TITLE song, sung by Bruce Springsteen, was called PHILADELPHIA.  The movie is SET in PHILADELPHIA.  The beginning scenes, accompanied by the song, PHILADELPHIA, were scenes that panned throughout…..SOME CITY….Biggles mused out loud, “I wonder what CITY this is…?”

Hmmmm.  I don’t knowwwwww….maybeeeee    PHILADELPHIA??????

See what I am getting at??  He will drive you NUTS in about three minutes if you are not careful.

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