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June 16, 2010

Yeah, I got one…

I went to KNEES R US and picked out a nice new shiny one!  Now I will be able to walk around effortlessly, and without the necessity of getting STUCK and having to whisper

OIL CAN…..Oil Can…..

You know…like that tin man in the Wizard of Oz.  I want to be able to sneak up on people, without the CREEEEEAK CREEAK of my knee,

giving me away.  I want to be able to fall to my knees in gratitude.  I want to be able to KNEE-L down and smell the flowers.  I want to be once again able to thread a knee-dle…

There are so many reasons why a knee comes in hand-y!

see what I did there? Knee?  Hand? body parts…

Oh well ok it is highly probable that the pain killers that I am taking right now are fogging my judgement, and skewing my perceptions.

I happen to think that soon I will be up and around and enjoying the use of this new body product.  I hope that my insurance covers the whole thing. They may say, OK dEb, you can’t pay for the knee so we will need to come by and take it OUT. To which I say


Suffice to say that I will be taking better care of this darling little metal/plastic insert, than I did of the original equipment.  Maybe they will eventually come out with a metal/plastic replacement HEAD.  I might be a good candidate for that.  Possibly they will have included a face kit–a whole bunch of face parts (much the same as the first Mr. Potato Head dolls).  At first the plastic potato was not included (maybe due to the fact that no one had developed a plastic potato head yet). Mr. Potato was a REAL, an ACTUAL POTATO. They had little face parts that you JAMMED onto a potato and


A potato person was born.  It could be like that! Just a little kit that included noses and eyeballs that you just jam on. Maybe I could trade in my old nose for a new glossy plastic item!  I never liked my nose anyway.

So here I am, hardly whining about the noo knee and thinking ahead to the next adventure. Typical dEb…

Where are all of my friends?  Oh sure I have had a few visitors…mostly my BEST KINDEST and MOST LIKABLE BUDDIES..but I am

wondering where are the massive crowds, gathered behind the police barrier, hoping to just get a look at me?!  Why am I sitting here all by myself?  Clearly it all depends on marketing and publicity.  I failed to announce to the world, in the proper way, that I was temporarily out of commission. MY BAD!

I think that it all boils down to publicity though.  Had I simply announced to the press that I was in actuality…THIS:

A Woman has barricaded herself inside a home in the valley. She says that she will only come out when they agree to make peanut butter our State food,

or–barring that eventuality, to at least allow children into ‘R’ rated movies, unaccompanied by an adult.

THERE WOULD be such a crowd gathered!  We could sell candy and popcorn. I could maybe pay for the knee after that.


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