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July 11, 2010

Some may find this curious…others may not believe me at all! It is the truth though.

One week shy of my 50 th birthday, I have painted my toenails for only the second time in my entire life.

You may ask…

(oh, go ahead. You KNOW you want to)

Was I raised by wolves?

Was I raised in a third-world country?

Was I raised   BY WOLVES   IN A Third-World Country??

The answer is of course NO but I was not a dress-up kind of girl.  I was a dress-up kind of girl if

we were talking about Pirates, or some other silly get-up.  I have always liked hats and various official looking

badges and uniforms, the same stuff as Michael Jackson.

In early June a friend of mine was renewing her vows (of Marriage–not a convent) and she wanted me to stand up

with her. She had purchased matching tye-dye shirts and purple thongs (the SHOE kind). I specify that it was the Marriage

kind because a nun who renews her covenant with God would look ludicrous in a tye-dye shirt and purple thongs.

As usual….I DIGRESS.

So because we were gonna be wearing thongs (the SHOE kind) in PUBLIC….I thought it might be appropriate to paint the tootsies.  I borrowed the polish and set to work.  Apparently all that extra equipment that you see in the movies (the toe-spreaders, the cotton balls…) these things were not ACTUALLY necessary so the task went along quite smoothly.

Then the ceremony was rained out and then

of no actual use

did I find for the toenails in their shiny pink finery!

The doctors who performed my knee surgery were no doubt impressed at the care I had taken to stay withing the lines of the nails.

I try to please.

This was LITERALLY the FIRST TIME I had ever brightened that particular canvass.  You may have read my blog BEAUTIFUL ADORNMENT and so you may already be aware of the sensitivity of the situation when it comes to dEbO and the entire cosmetic industry. I don’t support it. I mean, YES! I buy SOAP occasionally…and shampoo. But the industry as a whole, when trying to separate me from my money…best wishes!

I had to enter Mr. Peabody’s Wayback machine to recall why I have never:  Why I DO NEVER.

Oh, Yeah…I thought that painting the toenails was a sign of TT (Trailer Trash). I decided that I liked the look for me now.

It has been a few weeks and so it was time to remove the polish. I asked my roommate, Mother Nature, for some nail polish remover.

I expected and was not disappointed to find that there indeed was a sort of Organic, nonpoisonous (translated: Worthless) polish remover, made of lemon juice.  This is what I totally expect from that gal! It is her “THING”  .  I like to tease her and say that the word “ORGANIC” actually means    “UNWASHED”.

The way it  “worked” was that ya rubbed it on the toenail, and then SCRATCHED THE PAINT OFF.


The point here is that I am

AS convinced AS

I always have been–

that American women are given a GOODIE BAG at birth (that contains polish remover, polish, cotton balls and etc.) and that they all have this stuff.

I didn’t get my goodie bag.

Oh well….

So my roommate gave me a bottle of some mellow, purple-looking nail polish of my very own, now that I like it.


Happy Birthday!

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