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LITTLE DEBBIE PART 2

May 29, 2011

See my post:

Little Debbie Part 1

I was an unusual little girl. I am the memory-keeper of my family.

I want to take some of these memories out once in awhile, and sift through them like old postcards from friends. It is a sunny and beautiful Memorial Day Weekend. PERFECT!

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Playing With Our Food

I always pestered my Mom to buy those plates that had divided spaces on them. I did not like to have my different types of food touching each other! I required NO FOOD INTERACTION, unless I previously authorized it. Sure, gravy would cover the potatoes, green beans would hide underneath…previously authorized fraternization.

The worst culprit to my mind was cottage cheese and peaches. I had no problem with canned peaches*

I was fairly neutral on the subject of cottage cheese–

And Yet–

Combine them and you invite a lethal and obnoxious

BIPRODUCT

When the juice runs WHITE

That grossed 9 year old

ME

…out.

So I wanted my foods divided but equal.

I made my peace with some offensive foods. For example, on a night where my Mom was fixin’ to serve cooked carrots–

OH HOW I LOATHED (LOATHE) COOKED CARROTS!! (except of course when they are cooked in carrot cake. More, Please!)

Once when she was fixin’  ’em and I was gearing up for a good WHINE…

My Mom turned to me and thrust a raw and peeled carrot in my hands.

“Oh…”  Said I.

I ate it. It was fine, as I had no real problems with the carrot in its normal (albeit denuded) form.

I ate it and asked for another. Ate that.

At the dinner table, my plate was made conspicuous by its obvious

Lack of carrots.

My Dad growled,

“WHY ISN’T SHE HAVING CARROTS?”

He may have asked this in a perfectly conversational voice…but that is relative to the Listener.

“We Handled It…”

was what my Mom said.

With that small Interaction, Cooked carrots (except for the CAKE, mind you)

Left my Life.

Sort of similar thing occurred with the Morning Egg Ritual.

My Mom would serve me a hard boiled egg.

EWWWWW!!!

I would sit and stare at it for half an hour until my Mom, having reached HER limit–would announce,

“IF YOU DON’T EAT IT NOW, YOU WILL BE GETTING IT AGAIN FOR LUNCH…”

I recall the sound of thunder…

I would soon be excused, rescued from THE EGG.

THE EGG would then

ONCE AGAIN APPEAR

in front of me, for lunch (as promised)

In the form of a deviled egg on toast. Which I would gobble up with tremendous joy.

Delicious!

Well

It doesn’t take a PhD to figure this out. I loved deviled eggs. It is amazing what a little bit of mayonnaise and a dab of mustard

can do. (Not to mention paprika, most exotic of all the sort of orange-colored spices.)

Another Food Battle won!

*Canned peaches. I spent a good part of the sixth grade, working as a cafeteria helper. I charmed those hair-netted biddies! I mentioned to them once–that when my Mom opened a can of fruit, she saved the “juice” for me..

My Mom bought the fruit “in its own juice”.  The school preferred the kind with the syrup.

Heavy Syrup.

The kitchen ladies were delighted with me and they had no need of coaxing but saved a huge jug of fruit SYRUP for me.

OH,    GOODY.

Not wanting to me RUDE, I tried very hard to

Drink it.

Ew.

I took my job very seriously as a Helper. I was privileged! I was able to leave class early for

MY JOB

and I was excused from some other hated chores due to the status of

MY JOB

I found it necessary to distance myself from the mere

CHILDREN

Because after all, I had

<MY JOB>

Interesting Personalities involved in this new world of work.

The Lunch ladies at my school were extreme opposites.

Miss Sharon:

Tiny, Thin and Scrawny, Shrill, Mean-sounding

Miss Hansen:

Large, Fat and Jolly, Soothing, Sweet-sounding

For

ME

This was a representation of the two extremes.

Authoritarian Archetypes

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