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DUDE! WHERE’S MY CAR?

June 22, 2011

BUICK-CADILLAC-GM: The Big Car companies had a contest

recently…it was the

ON-STAR PRESS ON SWEEPSTAKES.  TEN LUCKY PEOPLE WERE GOING TO WIN A CAR OF THEIR CHOICE, AMONG SEVERAL MODELS.

All you had to do to enter the Sweepstakes…SIMPLY PRESS YOUR ONSTAR BUTTON.

BUT….WHAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE ONE?

I don’t have one.

The thought certainly appealed to my silly nature. How ABSURD!  If I won a car with an ONSTAR button, I would HAVE a car with an ONSTAR button. It was this sort of Cart-before-the-horse attitude that I have been running up against lately.

NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY!

It is emblazoned on products…

DETAILS INSIDE (claims the small print)…

OK so I’ll bite…

How do you win a car contest when you don’t have a cockie-doodie ONSTAR BUTTON!?!

What you do is:  you read the really REALLY fine print. All the way to the bottom!  Apparently, the alternative way of entering this sweepstakes

(TO BE ONE OF THE TEN LUCKY WINNERS!) is to mail in a specific size of index card, with certain specific information written on it, mailed to a specific address, and

although (it was specified) you could only push your ONSTAR button ONCE, to enter…the written-and-mailed Hopefuls were given the opportunity to send THREE entries.

Normally I don’t enter contests. I think that they are sales gimmicks and– nobody really wins, although I recollect that a neighbor boy named Victor won a Purple Taco Mini Bike from Mr. Wishbone,  which was a kid’s TV show in the 60’s.

THERE WERE SEVERAL STYLES AND MODELS IN WHICH TO CHOOSE….

If you won.  The contest ended in May, and the winners would be announced on June 15th.  June 15th has come and gone and I have not heard any more about the contest. I read that the winners could receive a car that had a value of over $131,000.  The information went on, telling me that in addition to winning

A BRAND NEW CAR

The winners would receive $25,000 in cash to cover the expense of Licensing and registration.

WOW! Sounds great to me. I decided that I wanted the Buick Enclave, in the red/burgundy color.

I decided to enter the sweepstakes after my friend, Karen suggested that I enter a car contest. She said it, so I figured that she had some reason for her suggestion. Like a premonition…

TODAY IS JUNE 22nd:

I went online and Googled the contest to see who won. Apparently I did NOT, as they (specified), notification would be by mail, phone or email. I looked all over online and all that I could find were links to the Public Announcement regarding the contest, and a few blogs that reiterated the same rules to enter and win.

Finally,  Frustrated–

I called ONSTAR at

1 (888) 466-7827  or

1 (888) 4 ON-STAR

and I politely listened to the three emergency options (for Spanish, Marke de dos)

Three more options about making payments or upgrades to your account,

Finally

Press ‘O’ for all other calls…….

I PRESSED ZERO

I got a nice young lady’s voice. The voice said it was named “Jade”.

“Jade”, I said…

(DUDE!)

“I am calling to ask if I might be one of the lucky winners. Can you tell me..”

(WHERE’S MY CAR?)

“..if I was selected?”

“Where must I come in order to pick up my Buick Enclave?”

Jade was very apologetic and said, “All of the winners will be notified by mail, phone or email…”

I guess that this was where I was supposed to say I did not get such a notification.

“I never got a call..” is what I said to Jade.

Jade was a perfect balance of optimism and apology.

SORRY

you didn’t win!!

MAYBE NEXT TIME!!

I did not actually SAY

DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR…..but I thought it would be kind of funny if I had.

The last thing that Jade and I talked about was whether there was anything else that she could do for me today? From Onstar?

No Thanks–is what I said, because I don’t have a car with ONSTAR!

OHHHHH WELL………………………

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