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THE FINE PRINT

July 14, 2011

I was looking at my birth certificate the other day.

I had glanced at it a time or two, over the past 51 years, but I guess I never really paid that close of attention to it until now.

Did you ever read the fine print?

Yeah….there is some stuff on there. I had never noticed it before but there were a couple of paragraphs. They were hard to make out as they were very tiny and had faded through these many years. Paper does not last forever you know.

It biodegrades.

 

Congratulations!

(it said)

 

You are here. You have arrived at your destination. Here are some tips to make your stay

worthwhile.

 Don’t Panic!

You will not be this tiny forever.

 

Try to eat the carrots and strained peas! They are terrible, but in the end, you will be better off.

 

STAY AWAY FROM SUGAR! IT WILL KILL YOU. DON’T EVEN TASTE IT!

(Oops…..)

 

Try to remain in one piece. The Whole is Greater Than the Sum of its Parts.

 

Keep one end in some area of moisture, not of your own creation. For example: large bodies of water. The Product and the sum of the parts will fare best when dunked regularly in a lake, ocean, pond, river, reservoir, bathtub or swimming pool.

 

Avoid fats, grease, white flour and bald men throughout your time here.

 

Spend 80% of your time working on something you enjoy.  Do something for money .05% of the time. All the rest of the time should be spent:

sleeping.

 

Help others if and when you can. Make other people happy that you are here too.

 

Leave with a smile on your face and absolutely no regrets!*

 

*At which time, after a short respite….

You will be issued new paperwork and the process begins all over again.

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD, BILLY BOB BAKER!

 

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